Sonam: In the ’90s, once you were married your career was over – Times of India

The Oye Oye girl of the 90s, yesteryear actress Sonam, quit her acting career at her peak to marry filmmaker Rajiv Rai. Known for films like Tridev, Mitti Aur Sona, Vijay and Vishwatma, she left Mumbai in 1997 with her husband and son, and settled into a comfortable life in the US, away from the limelight. Years later, Rajiv and she divorced, and after living abroad for more than a decade, she moved back to Mumbai. Sonam remarried, and now she’s all set to reboot her career. In an exclusive chat with us, the actress quickly recaps the past 20 years, talks about showbiz – then and now – and shares how she is keen to make a comeback. Excerpts:
You were a part of many prominent projects and multi-starrers in the 90s, but then you left it all to get married…

(With Naseeruddin Shah in Tridev)
I joined Bollywood when I was 13, and within a year, I had signed 30 films. I did many films and worked with big actors like Mithun Chakraborty, Govinda and Naseeruddin Shah, but in those days actresses hardly had anything to do. I may have been known as a sex symbol, but I didn’t have a clue that people would call me that. I would wear bikinis and mostly dance to songs in films. There was not much scope for female actors, though, I must say that the makers and my co-actors supported me a lot. Later, I decided to get married and quit my career. Before my 21st birthday, I had become a mother.

Later, you moved on and settled abroad (that was the time when Bollywood was under threat from the underworld; there was also an attack on Rajiv Rai). How was it to live away from the limelight, work and family for so many years?
I lived abroad from 1997 to 2012. It was a very tough phase for me. We did not live in one place for long and moved to several places in Europe. I was living out of a suitcase, and I missed my parents a lot, who were in Mumbai. My father passed away (2002) during that time and I can’t forgive myself for not being able to come to India for him. I missed my life in Mumbai and my family immensely, but I was focused on my son’s education. I also lived in Puducherry for almost three years before returning to Mumbai. I came back to Mumbai in 2015 and now am living a peaceful life here with my son.
After 25 years of marriage, Rajiv Rai and you divorced, and you remarried…
Rajiv and I divorced in 2016, and I got married again. My husband is an orthopaedic surgeon (Dr Murali Poduval), but I don’t feel he should be discussed because he does not belong to showbiz. I also feel that marriage is overrated, but companionship is important.

So, what have you been doing in the past few years, apart from focusing on your family?

I turned 50 in September last year. In the last two decades, I had lost my individuality and let myself just go. I found living in Mumbai very claustrophobic during the pandemic. I had also put on a lot of weight and was not paying attention to my health, so I went to Ooty and lived there for almost a year. I stopped eating non-vegetarian food, ate healthy and changed my lifestyle. I focused on myself, and lived a stress-free and peaceful life. Gradually, I lost all the extra weight, got fitter and became a completely new person. I lost 30 kgs and gained a new perspective towards life. I want to work now instead of just sitting at home.

Looking back, do you regret quitting showbiz and your choice to stay away from it all for so long?

(With Rishi Kapoor in Vijay)
Yes, it was not a good decision. But, when I got married, I was very young and I became this obedient wife, who used to listen to everything. Later, I realised I had got into a daily rut and needed to have a mind of my own. Back then, once an actress got married, her career was over. Before my 21st birthday, I was a mother and then, life went into fast-forward mode. I also feel that our culture is a little hard on women (at least it was). They have to dress a certain way, look a certain way and when they get married, their entire life is supposed to revolve around their husband and kids. I don’t want people to judge women for their choices. Whatever body size you are, you should respect your body. My son Gaurav is the best person in my life because he has taught me patience, kindness and to be strong in every situation.

So, what made you want to give your career in showbiz a chance again?
Back in the day, there were no scripts, and dialogues used to change anytime. It was challenging, but I had nothing to complain about because I was working with the best actors. Our films still have some limitations, but 40-plus women have good content being written for them, especially on alternative platforms, so I want to prove myself again. Acting in films is also much more natural and less melodramatic than it used to be during my days.