Being Single: Story of a 72-year-old woman who remained single out of choice and even adopted a girl child – Times of India

Does it annoy you when people ask why are you single?

No, not at all! I don’t really care. I am not answerable to anybody.

Why do you think singlehood is questioned so much?

Not just in India, all over the world, there exists a patriarchal structure where it is taken for granted that women need both physical and financial support from men, at every stage of her life. Plus, it is difficult for many to digest the fact that singlehood can be out of choice.

What are the weirdest, funniest questions you have been asked about being single?

Not funny or weird but there are some cliched questions which were often put across by random people who in any case had no business interfering in my life. Some of those questions were: “Is it that nobody wanted to marry you?” “Are you single because your parents did not allow you to marry someone you liked or was he from a different caste?” “Aapka kabhi mann nahi kiya”? “Do you not miss a companion?”

What strengths do you find in being single?

The fact that I am independent and can make my own decisions be it right or wrong, makes me feel empowered. I am not answerable to anybody.

Have you ever had those weak moments when you wished you weren’t single?

Never. I was always very clear that I want to be on my own and live my life on my own terms. And fortunately my family accepted my individuality, my decision and supported me.

A few pieces of advice for women and men out there who are contemplating singlehood, trying not to fall under the pressure of “society”.

Once you are clear in your mind that you are capable of handling your own life, you should go ahead with your decision irrespective of what people have to say. But, for that, you need to be financially independent. Do not fall under the pressure of what others think because in the end it is your life. You do not owe an explanation to anyone.

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