Why Do Men Lose Romantic Interest So Quickly?

2. Despite the date going super well, his heart was never really in it. He might want to flirt via text a bit but isn’t interested in seeing you again. This happened loads during lockdown, and then as soon as things opened up, people left their lockdown girlfriends.

3. He only went on the date to prove that he could “get” you. So, although he appeared to be into you on the date, it was only to make you more interested in him. Bit psychotic, right?

4. You asked him out and he was too weak to say no at the time so went on the date and humored you but never saw you as someone to pursue seriously.

5. He really was interested in dating you, and although you had a good time on the date, there was something small that made him not want to be with you. Something too superficial for him to tell you outright and risk being called shallow or fickle.

He finished off by clarifying that it’s normal that the guy might appear to like you on the date. He’s sat right in front of you, a bit drunk. He wants to come home and tell his flatmates, “Yeah, she was great, I liked her.” It’s only with hindsight that he sees it wasn’t all that he built it up to be. That you touched your hair too much, or that it was weird that you mentioned how many followers you had on Instagram.

I felt absolutely nuts after this conversation, and thought that perhaps I better stop inventing pathologies and applying them to men. Perhaps I was just too entitled to other people’s affection because growing up I was blonde and relatively skinny and that was the beauty ideal. But then I thought back to the date, his hand on my hip, all those questions about my family. He genuinely liked me, and if he went on another date with me, he would like me again, and again, until we’d formed a solid connection. Until I became permanent even when out of sight.

A few days later I’m at the pub with my friend and we’re talking about another friend of ours who’s been ignored by a man and she says something so lovely, my heart actually turns purple. “I notice new things about you all the time. All these little things that make you special. I feel sorry for these men, I actually pity them, that they’re too lazy, too nervous or whatever to stick around to discover this stuff about you.” She sighs. “They’re really missing out.”

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