Why Australia’s new dads may not be OK

While peri- and postnatal depression and anxiety in women is well known, men can suffer these conditions as well.

The sight of a newborn has new poignancy in the pandemic. Having a baby is wonderful, but it is challenging even without Covid. And while peri- and postnatal depression and anxiety (PNDA) in women is now much better known, it remains far less understood that men suffer these conditions as well.

Social researcher Mark McCrindle says new dads are vulnerable to isolation because “they’re not naturally in those social parent networks, let alone with lockdowns and the like.”

“Missing that is a great loss,” McCrindle says. “And some of those areas that men were connecting into, men’s groups and social activities, have been impacted over the last 18 months.”

In addition to the one in five women who suffer PNDA, Gidget Foundation CEO Arabella Gibson says that “one in 10 dads are diagnosed … but there is a huge proportion of fathers who go undiagnosed.”

Expectant and new dads who are silently suffering are currently invisible too, as Australia’s Delta disaster grinds on.

“They’ve completely lost their village in terms of their ability to share new parenthood with other parents,” Gibson says. “We’re seeing a year-on-year 122 per cent increase (in referrals) … off the back of a 63 per cent increase last year on the year before.”

Male symptoms of PNDA can differ markedly from female symptoms.

“Not looking and sounding like themselves, getting easily frustrated and agitated,” she says. “Sometimes people will get quite angry. We often see changes in sleep and changes in eating habits that’s not just related to babies crying.”

The same things that help manage other mental health conditions apply.

“Getting some exercise, trying to sleep well wherever they can … eating healthily – these are all commonsense things, but they’re all very real (contributors) to being mentally well,” Gibson says. “We also created a virtual village through Facebook …(because) it is really important that dads stay connected.”

When Craig Anderson’s wife Rebecca was diagnosed with postnatal depression in 2017, he went into “super dad” mode.

“I tried to be everything to everyone,” he says. “I really tried to take on the majority of the parenting, the household chores … (and) you don’t get to see your mates anymore.”

Commuting daily with his infant son Clarke, Anderson says one horrible interaction with a couple on a ferry was “the straw that broke the camel’s back”.

“For a split second, I completely forgot I had my six-month-old son in my arms,” he says. “I was about to physically throttle this guy. I’m a pretty calm person generally, but it took every ounce of mental resistance I had to just walk away with the pram. And that scared the pants off me.”

Diagnosed with male PNDA, Anderson was referred to the Gidget Foundation.

“I found out within five minutes that apparently blokes can get post-natal anxiety disorders, which was a real shock to me at the time and continues to shock most people I talk to about it,” he says.

Welcoming twin girls this month, Anderson says “It’s about being prepared, not being scared.”

“This is a treatable, recoverable disorder,” he says. “We know the steps we need to take, we know where to reach out for help and we’ve also made sure that we’ve built support networks around us. We’re just going to embrace it and we’re excited.”

Join the Gidget Virtual Village for dads – it’s peer moderated, free of charge and exists solely for dads to speak freely and seek non-judgemental advice. facebook.com/groups/gidgetvirtualvillagedads

HOW TO HAVE THE RU OK?DAY CHAT

Even without a new baby in the mix, the sequel to 2020 has been a doozy.

If you do know a new dad or a dad with a young family who might be silently struggling right now, September 9 is RU OK? Day – what better time to check in?

Kantar Public research from March 2021 found that conversations make a huge difference. Of those who had recently spoken to someone about feeling troubled, 80 per cent said it made them feel more supported and cared about, 75 per cent felt more connected and 72 per cent felt better about themselves and their situation.

Use the RU OK? Day four ALEC steps.

A = ask

L = listen

E = encourage

C = check in

Together, we can make ALEC part of the Australian everyday.

Find more RU OK? Day resources at ruok.org.au

Find more Gidget Foundation resources at gidgetfoundation.org.au

Originally published as One in 10 men diagnosed with male PNDA after fatherhood

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