Wayne Carey’s ex-coach hits out at star’s affair with Anthony Stevens’ wife for the first time

The AFL coach who was left to pick up the pieces of Wayne Carey’s fractured club after his infamous affair with a teammate’s wife wishes the star would have manned up and taken responsibility for the scandal earlier. 

Two-time premiership coach Denis Pagan was at the helm in 2002 when Carey’s affair with Anthony Stevens’ wife Kelli saw the star player depart the club and leave it in ruin. 

‘I wish we could have changed it. You could have come out straight away and said, “I am terribly, terribly sorry”,’ Pagan told Carey to his face on the second episode of the footy legend’s new podcast The Truth Hurts. 

‘I thought you were reluctant to say you were sorry at the start.’

Denis Pagan and Wayne Carey hold aloft the AFL Premiership Cup after defeating the Sydney Swans in 1996. Carey’s affair would tear the club apart

Anthony Stevens with then-wife Kelli at Wayne Carey’s wedding reception in 2001

Carey and Stevens (pictured) had been great mates before the affair caused a lifelong rift 

It was the first time the pair had ever sat down to discuss the affair, which saw Carey depart in shame to Adelaide, where he finished out his career. 

‘It was the greatest tragedy in my time in coaching. Even to the point now I knew how much pressure you were under,’ Pagan told Carey. 

Pagan let loose after Carey told him the affair and its fallout had been the greatest regret of his life. 

‘It’s easy for me to say I wish you had done this and I wish you had grabbed Stevo and embraced him and said, “I am terribly sorry, whatever you want me to do, I will do it’,’ Pagan said.

‘But that is easy for me to say, I don’t want to know the details of it. It is just one of the sad facts of life.

‘You talked about regrets, it’s one of your biggest regrets and I am sure even now if you could have done anything to change it, it did destroy the fabric of the football club and we did pick up the pieces a bit but we were never quite the same.’

Carey’s affair with Stevens’ now ex-wife stunned the footy world when they were caught in a toilet at a house party, leading to the two-time premiership captain leaving the club in disgrace. 

It is a rift that has never been healed. 

Anthony Stevens is greeted by his wife Kelli and daughter Ayva after a 2004 match. Their relationship did not survive

Kelli Stevens is pictured in more recent times 

Last year, the pair were at Yarraville’s Railway Hotel for a 1996 premiership reunion when Carey reportedly ‘went at’ Stevens. 

Witnesses alleged Carey accused Stevens of ‘talking behind his back and telling people he couldn’t be contacted and to not bother trying to catch up with him, but then being fine in person’. 

Pagan described the breakdown of the once good mates’ friendship as ‘tragic’.  

‘When I think how close everyone was and how close you were, it was tragic. We had such a bond and it was broken and even now there is still a bit of angst and I hate to see it. 

‘All we can do now is pick up the pieces. I see you, I see Glenn (Archer) and I see Anthony and I just wish it could have been like the old times.’ 

Denis Pagan didn’t take a step back when asked by Wayne Carey his thoughts about the affair that tore apart North Melbourne 

Anthony Stevens and his former wife Kelli in happier times. He reportedly clashed with Carey at a 1996 premiership team reunion last year

‘I wish you could have gone up to Echuca for the weekend or Sydney for the weekend and come back and have all been mates and tricked the coach that you’ve only had two shandies and didn’t have a beer and we could have all gone on, but it happened. That’s life, we’re not going to change it, and these things occur.

‘When I think of it now it still devastates me to think, I wish it didn’t happen but it’s life.’

Carey confessed to Pagan he felt he had no choice but to immediately dump the club and run. 

‘I was really quick to just ring (North Melbourne officials) Geoff Walsh and Greg Miller and rang straight away,’ Carey said. 

‘The thought was, they say fight or flight. But straight away the thought for me was I have got to walk away. There was no other thought in my mind. 

‘For those who think I got sacked, that wasn’t the case. I quit straight away. There was no thought. The apology thing (to Stevens to save his Kangaroos career) never really came into mind at that point. It was just, ‘I have to separate myself from the club’.’