#TheSuperMoms Bidipta Chakraborty: It’s important to give children the space to find out who they are – Times of India

This week, ETimes speaks to actress Bidipta Chakraborty who juggles between her motherhood and professional duties with equal determination and passion. In a candid chat, the doting mother shares how exciting, life-changing and, at times, memorable adventure her motherhood has been.

What do you think is the most important lesson for parenting children?

Having a strong and grounded character is a must for a mother because your children will watch and learn from you. So, a mother needs to be very careful about her lifestyle. Also, if you want your kids to do something first do it yourself and your little ones will learn from it. That’s how Meghla and Ida have grown up. Frankly speaking, seeing them growing up and embracing motherhood has stabilized my life.

Have you ever faced the pressure of being judged as a mom?

Social pressure on a mother and the fears of being a perfect mom will always hunt you, especially for celebrities. We are constantly being judged by people. But yes, what kind of a mother I am that’s something which will slowly unfold with time. There will be constant pressure of being judged, no matter how hard you try to be a hands-on mother. The thing that matters the most is how you deal with the situation and pressure.

Do your kids enjoy their own space while growing up?

I have noticed that we often do this mistake and it is putting barriers on our little ones as we look to see them behave in a certain way that will be accepted by society without any scrutiny. For instance, we often say walk like a man, or don’t cry like a girl. What these stereotypes do is they eventually engulf an innocent mind. Giving your children the necessary space to figure out who they actually are is imporant. It can be their identity or sexuality, everyone needs their own space.

Being a working mother, have you ever suffered from any guilty feeling?

Thanks for asking this question. Yes, it is an important social stigma we usually see as a guilty feeling, especially when you are a working mom. I think it comes from the responsibility factor. We live in a society that most of the time put this responsibility of raising the child on the mother and that’s how the guilt engulfs a working mother. Thankfully, I and Birsa have never let these guilty feelings hamper our family life. We have shared our parental responsibilities nicely.

There’s a notion that an actress’ career halts after becoming a mother. Do you feel the same?

I think it’s nothing but a myth and this has been created by a bunch of insecure people in our society. Motherhood is a beautiful journey. This has nothing to do with an actor’s career. I think after I became a mother I am now a more mature actor. The strength, the endurance I have now it wouldn’t have been possible if I wasn’t a mother. I believe motherhood turns an actor more mature, and more expressive.

One advice for all those working moms out there…

I think most mothers forget to take care of themselves while trying to look after their families. They become so selfless that at one point in time the burden of responsibilities affects their mental health. I would suggest that every woman has to be a bit selfish, but in a good way. Yes, there are so many things to do but at the same time, you have to give some time to yourself as well. Give yourself a nice treat for all the hard work that you put in daily; go on a shopping spree, or meet your close friends, do whatever makes you happy. Don’t just compromise; give some time to yourself also.