The players aren’t allowed to hit mouthy fans, but somebody should

It has long been time to put fans in their place. An average human being would not normally scream “you fuck!” at a 6-foot-4, 200-plus-pound man. Make that person Bradley Beal, and all of a sudden the probability of that happening increases.

Beal is currently being investigated after an incident in which a person yelled at him. Beal allegedly made contact with the head of that person’s friend, causing his hat to fall to the ground. The incident took place last week after the Washington Wizards lost 122-112 on the road against the Orlando Magic. According to police, there is enough evidence to charge Beal with simple battery. The Wizards said in a statement that they are aware of the incident and have no other comment.

I understand that there needs to not be another Malice at the Palace. As satisfying as it was to see knuckleheaded fans get clocked by players, that escalated far beyond a fight between a player and a fan. A riot took place indoors, and with children present. However, there has to be a middle ground somewhere.

Quite a few fans have been out of pocket since stadiums went back to full capacity in 2021. Make fun of Russell Westbrook and Kyrie Irving for getting fans ejected from games if you so choose, but there are many cases of people yelling horrific comments at athletes with the comfort of protection from security and the ability to press charges.

There has to be a way to bring shame to these people in an increasingly shameless world. My instinctive thought was to stop play, put gloves and headgear on both the player and offensive fan and let the two rumble for 45 seconds while security stands around them in a circle so no one can get in or out.

That sounds great, but it’s unrealistic for many reasons even besides the fact that it’s illegal for the NBA to host a sanctioned boxing match during one of its events. The team owners would never agree to it, because a fan could fight dirty by throwing an elbow and now a star player is out with a fractured face. Also, this would be of no help to Beal because the incident happened after the game.

The only answer here is club bouncers.

Outside of the police, no one else on earth has more authority to rough people up than a bouncer. Curse out a bartender in front of a bouncer and you will be on your keister before you can blink. Bouncers don’t escort you out of a building, they remove you from it. Let the guy working the door at your favorite college watering hole drag a patron from their seat to the door. Sporting events would be a much better place.

And don’t limit just to the stands. If a bouncer was with Beal as he left the stadium last week, that fan could have received exactly what he deserved and been forced to take it. Instead, Beal is likely going to have to pay a lawyer and this fool because too many people feel they are entitled to say whatever they feel like without getting beat up.

It’s time for a change in the NBA. No more people with walkie-talkies walking offenders out of the building, or ushers watching over sections that couldn’t bust a grape in a fruit fight. It’s time to hire some ex-college football players, dress them in all black, give them earpieces, and let them put some paws on people. It won’t stop fans from talking recklessly but at least the players can have the satisfaction of knowing that the offenders are getting their asses kicked.