THE NOTEBOOK: Stuart Pearce’s tea party was a bad omen for West Ham

A crazy afternoon at Selhurst Park saw more goals than what the home of Crystal Palace has seen in the entire year prior to West Ham’s arrival.

Roy Hodgson’s interim appointment couldn’t have worked better with the club now all but certain of their Premier League survival as they picked up another three valuable three points.

But that wasn’t the case for West Ham who’s relegation concerns are now becoming a serious and realistic threat for David Moyes and his squad.

The Hammers are just five points above the drop and erratic performances such as Saturday’s 4-3 defeat don’t inspire much defensive confidence. 

Mail Sport’s Kieran Gill takes a look at some of the things you may have missed. 

West Ham came out on the losing end of a seven-goal thriller at Selhurst Park

Crystal Palace’s Premier League safety is all but confirmed after beating West Ham

STUART PEARCE’S TEA PARTY WAS A BAD OMEN

 Though no longer a coach at the club, Stuart Pearce popped into West Ham’s training ground on Tuesday to host his annual St George’s Day tea party on the veranda. 

Rather like Ray Winstone leading a knitting circle or Vinnie Jones teaching a class on the art of floristry, it doesn’t seem to fit the ‘Psycho’ persona we know him for. Since then, West Ham have lost twice – 2-1 to Liverpool and 4-3 here to Crystal Palace.

Their predicament is much more serious than a storm in a teacup. They’re still in this Premier League relegation race and looking over their shoulder.

Stuart Pearce’s West Ham tea party in the week didn’t lead to a victory at Selhurst Park

PALACE’S HISTORIC FORMATION CHANGE  

Look at Crystal Palace’s average player positions from this frantic first half and you could argue Roy Hodgson uses a 2-3-5 formation – a system which was known as the ‘Pyramid’ and popular in the late 1800s. 

Hodgson may be the Premier League’s oldest manager but he’s not that old! Nevertheless, this is part of modern football where players are constantly on the move, rarely sticking to their starting positions.

HOW’S YOUR TOUCH ROY?

He may be 75 but Hodgson cannot resist trying to control a ball dropping from the Gods. His touch in the technical area drew one of the day’s loudest cheers, with Crystal Palace’s backroom staff giggling behind him.

Roy Hodgson tried to bring a high ball down and got a big laugh from the crowd inside Selhurst Park

SOUCEK’S SLIDING RATING

Player ratings are tricky and Tomas Soucek was all over my sliding scale here. First, he scored a goal. Continue like this, Tomas, and you’re on your way to an eight. Then, he cost a goal. Oh dear, down to five you go. 

 Then, he made a goal. OK, now I’m lost. Soucek epitomised this up-and-down spectacle. In the end, Soucek received a safe six.

Tomas Soucek was a reporter’s nightmare during his crazy performance against Crystal Palace

THE STAT THAT HAUNTS WEST HAM FANS

As anyone who has been in Selhurst Park’s away end will attest, it’s cosy, it’s cramped, it’s sweaty. You get to know the fans on your left and right better than you would care to. 

West Ham’s supporters went wild when they took the lead, though they should have been mindful of one statistic in particular. 

The team scoring first in this fixture had won only one of the last 11 Premier League meetings. We can now make that 12.

RICE’S RECORD MILESTONE

Declan Rice made his 200th Premier League appearance for West Ham here. Aged 24 years and 105 days, he is the ninth youngest to reach this milestone in the Prem and the youngest since Raheem Sterling in 2018. 

How many of his next 200 will be for West Ham remains to be seen.