Swipe for Love: “Trusting your gut and instinct is really important in online dating” – Times of India
Did you ever think you will find love online?
Megan: I saw my twin sister meet her husband online, so I did think it was possible but wasn’t sure if I would be lucky enough to do the same.
Savio: I didn’t think I would find love online. After going on a few dates before meeting Megan and never hearing back from my dates, I felt very discouraged. I was almost about to give up and delete the apps but then came Megan!
How different is online dating from finding love around you?
Megan: Online dating is different because you can more easily find someone who matches what you are looking for. You can eliminate potential matches quickly if you read their profile and realise their goals or values don’t align with yours. That way, you don’t have to spend weeks or months dating someone in the “real world” before finding out something about that person that doesn’t fit with you.
Savio: I work for a company that makes huge semiconductor machines so most of the jobs require mechanical work and because of that there aren’t a lot of women applying and working in my company. And also because I was new to San Diego, I didn’t have any new friends. So there was no way I could have met someone organically due to my situation. Online dating, hence, became a natural selection.
What are some of the things you don’t like when dating online?
Megan: One of the main things I don’t like about online dating is the expectations it holds for so many people. Many people use it for quick hookups and don’t want to find true love on the app. It also provides an easy way for people to be deceptive. People lie about their height, weight, and even appearance on online dating because they can hide behind a screen.
Savio: Although online dating was the way to go for me, I quickly started getting tired of it. Mainly because I saw that a lot of people were not serious about it. They were either looking for a free meal via dates or a hookup.
Were you putting up your perfect side while dating online or via texts? Or were you your true self?
Megan: While using dating apps, I definitely tried to put up my most perfect self. Of course, being a genuine person, I did show my true self to the people I felt I was making serious connections with. At the beginning of dating my husband, I still tried to be as perfect as I could be in order to impress him, but I quickly realised he didn’t need me to be perfect.
Savio: Initially I was trying to be perfect but with time I realised I don’t need to be. My perfections and imperfections were the things that defined me and I knew the right person would accept me for who I am and that’s what Megan did.
Can you tell us what your dating bio was about?
Megan: It’s been so long, I honestly don’t remember but I probably put something about how I am an accountant who loves cats and lifting weights and that I was looking for someone who was sweet, funny and adventurous.
Savio: Haha! I can’t remember everything but what I do remember is that I didn’t reveal everything in my bio and wanted to save a lot for chatting in person. Besides, I had so many hobbies back then that I couldn’t fit everything in the character limit of the bio.
Is connecting over online dating apps as exciting as meeting someone in a physical space?
Megan: Connecting over online dating apps is as exciting as meeting someone in a physical space. It’s exciting to see what quirky message or text you can come up with and there is a rush of excitement when waiting for your match to message you back. Meeting someone in a physical space can be so nerve-wracking because you might not be prepared for the interaction.
Savio: Yes, connecting online was as exciting as meeting someone in a physical space. Mainly because I wasn’t rushing to meet a person right away after matching. I would take my own time to get to know a person before deciding to meet.
What drew you to your partner online?
Megan: Well, if I’m being honest, his photos are what first drew me to my partner’s profile which is kind of the point, right? Your first impression of someone online is their appearance, and then you dig into their profile and what they are like. After our initial match though, his sweet and calm demeanour is what drew me in. He made me feel so comfortable, he didn’t rush me into anything and made sure we had the time to get to know each other before meeting in person.
Savio: After matching with Megan, when I started talking to her I realized that we had a lot of things in common so that definitely drew me towards her. Plus, she looked cute in her photos!
Did you come across any fake profiles or false identities online? Any tips to tell if a person is real or fake?
Megan: Fortunately, I did not come across any fake profiles online or at least I didn’t connect with any of them. I think if someone is unsure if a person is real or fake, they can ask for videos from the person or video chat with them. If they come up with excuses as to why they can’t video chat, that should be a major red flag in this era where everyone has a smartphone with video chat capabilities.
Savio: I can’t remember if I came across any fake profiles but I was cautious and looking for signs and red flags to know if I am being catfished. I think the most obvious tip would be to see if the photos are consistent. Second tip that I can think of is to be on high alert to see any contradictions in your conversation with that person against what’s written in their bio. Thirdly, research a bit about where the person wants to meet, whether it’s safe and in a public setting and lastly if the other person is asking for money or any other information that may sound fishy, bail out immediately.
Was it love at first sight when you both met or did you take your time getting to know your partner?
Megan: Again being honest here, it wasn’t love at first sight for me when I met my partner. I had gone through a lot during my time in the dating world and had a bit of a guard up when we first met. That is why I took the time to get to know my partner and the love grew. It definitely did grow a lot quicker than I had expected because of how amazing he was, but it wasn’t instant or “at first sight”.
Savio: I don’t think I would label it “love at first sight” but I was definitely attracted to her when I first met her. For me, emotional connection is as important as physical connection so I took my time getting to know Megan before I fell in love with her.
Do you feel taking chances or a ‘leap of faith’ is very important to get to where you are right now?
Megan: Yes, I think taking changes was very important for me to get to where I am right now. I really had to trust the connection I had with my partner in the beginning and allow it to grow at its own pace. It’s hard to know who is your perfect match, so having faith that the relationship I had was going in the right direction was important.
Savio: Yes, absolutely! Coming to the US was never a part of my plan but I took a leap of faith and that changed my life forever. If I hadn’t, I would have never met Megan! In my life, I have taken several such chances and those experiences have only made me better. Whether it’s finding love or trying out a new venture, trusting your gut and instincts is the best thing you could do for yourself.
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