Style over substance: Ranking every USFL team based on their jerseys

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If you’re like me, looking for anything football-related to fill the void that the end of the NFL season left in your soul, then you were probably jumping for joy when the USFL revealed their uniforms for their first season since 1985.

Sure, the XFL and AAF may not have worked out, but as long as there is live football happening that I can watch and root for, I’m a happy man. While the pessimists among you might think this league has no chance, the people who absolutely love the game are just happy to watch something, anything when the NFL and college football seasons have ended.

We still need to wait more than a month for the USFL season to start, but at least it’s something, right? It’s an appetizer, teasing what’s to come, to keep our palates alive and begging for more before the season ultimately starts. With coaches like Jeff Fisher and Kirby Wilson, it’s hard not to get at least a little bit excited at the possibilities a league like this brings.

The league will also feature players like… well, we don’t know because the league refuses to release their player pool prior to the draft. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad sign, but at least it’ll add a little bit of mystery to draft night and perhaps some shock as well should we see someone well-known opting to take their football talents to this new league. There are some recognizable names that have been announced such as running back Kelvin Taylor and defensive tackle Toby Johnson, but we don’t really know the level of talent that will be on every team’s draft board yet.

Nonetheless, in order for the draft to be more entertaining, we need to have a team to root for. What fun is seeing players get picked if you have no affiliation, no bias toward a specific team and the players they pick? With the draft just three days away, fans need to pick a team they can get behind. That’s why I have compiled this list ranking every team based solely on their jerseys, because unless you’ve already got a geographical or personal connection to any of these teams, their game day fits are the best way to determine who to root for, obviously.

Before I get started, I want to point out that I have no nostalgia for any of these teams that were around in the ’80s. I could care less how well these jerseys represent the teams’ pasts or how closely they resemble the jerseys from nearly 40 years ago. These are my personal rankings, unburdened by nostalgia.

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