The question “Do you want to go for a drink sometime?” is basically shorthand for asking someone to go on a date with you. And like so many others, a bar date is my go-to for my first time going out with someone new. Bars, after all, are jovial places that offer a casual atmosphere and a low-stakes way of figuring someone out, as well as easy routines to slip into, providing comfort in what can be a fairly nerve-wracking scenario. You can complain about or compliment the establishment’s house wine, for example. And maybe a few drinks in, you might knock the other person’s knees with yours under the table, to wordlessly show that you’re having a good time, that maybe you might quite like them.
As such, many of my best dates have been bar dates—they’re a good barometer of whether someone is happy to talk nonsense that is complementary to your own nonsense for a few hours, if nothing else—but I don’t think they’re the best type of date you can go on. Because, for me, there’s little that’s more fun and telling in the early stages of dating someone than going to a restaurant with them.
This is partly a personal thing. I am a deeply greedy individual, and I often enjoy getting ready at home—changing my outfit seven times, drowning out whatever crap playlist I’ve shoved on Spotify with my busted hairdryer—as much as the actual night out itself, so I welcome any opportunity to eat something delicious and make an occasion of it. But there are other, more universal pros to dinner dates, too—even if, in my experience, they seem to happen less and less.
I think this is because, where millennial dating is concerned, a lot of the time we’re all competing to seem like we care the least. A restaurant date, therefore, probably seems like a bigger deal or financial commitment than is technically cool (though I would say that these days, a few rounds set you back almost as much as a decent meal out, and you don’t even get dessert at a bar). But even disregarding the (net positive) fact that they tend to foreground booze at least a little bit less than a bar trip, there is also so much more romance, and perhaps even glamour, to a restaurant date. Look at you, coquettishly picking at a bread basket while you wait for the other person to arrive! And is there a person in the world who doesn’t look better in candlelight, their cheeks flushed from a glass of good wine?
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