Lockdown dating trend that needs to stop

Singles in lockdown are resorting to a particular type of date so they can meet in real life but it’s proving to be a disastrous way to find love.

I’ve discovered a weird thing happens to a single girl during lockdown. It’s like a wonderful, slightly unhinged rollercoaster ride of emotions.

One day you’re waking up praising the lord that you don’t have kids to home school and then the next you’re pondering how the heck you are going to fill the next 12 hours before it’s time for bed again.

It gives a singleton a lot of time to ponder, and like my guest on this week’s Kinda Sorta Dating podcast, former Bachelor contestant Abbie Chatfield, revealed – it makes your libido do some funny things.

Thanks to absolutely no action between the sheets, because … you know … we’re all in lockdown, you can choose to do one of two things. Either a) swipe madly on the apps and organise a walking date (if you live within 5km of each other) or Zoom date. Or just give up completely and put an absolute halt on your love life until we are free to roam again.

The problem with a walking date is that it’s horrendously boring. I’m not a massive fan of exercise, like, at all! So the thought of throwing on my joggers and dragging myself around a park with barely any contact and no form of alcohol in sight just sounds awful.

One friend who has been on many walking dates over the last few weeks summed it up perfectly during a boozy Zoom chat. She stated, “The problem with walking dates is that it puts you straight into the friend zone.” And she’s right.

There’s something slightly sexy and fun about sliding into some heels, popping on a figure hugging dress, and scooting over to the bar for a glass of confidence and some flirty banter. For me, that’s how you go on a date!

There’s the cheeky skin-on-skin contact when you lean in to tell a story, and the mood lighting of a night time date just adds a bit of spark.

One friend asked me on the phone how the heck are you supposed to lean in for a kiss when you’re on a walking date?! The answer is – I just don’t know!

Let’s be honest, daytime first dates are not for making out. And heck, I don’t want to be going on a date if there’s not going to be at least the tease of a smooch. Errrgh could you imagine … you get to the end of the walk in a park filled with other people attempting to get outside for a breather.

The sun is shining in your face, and you are stone cold sober. You lean in for that awkward hug to say goodbye and what … what then? You just start making out like teenagers in front of everyone? Noooo …. Just no!

Then there’s the other option, the Zoom date. Now, like I’ve said before, I am a big fan of a quick face-to-face date before you commit to a real one with a bloke you’ve never met before. It helps suss them out before you waste time and money on an outfit and night out with someone you may actually have no proper chemistry with.

However, the thought of maintaining Zoom dates for the entire lockdown just sounds torturous. Like Abbie said on my poddy, “At week one or two of lockdown it was much easier because you kind of were like, ‘OK cool, I can get to know you during this time and then we can soon go on a date,’ but I think now at week 10, or whatever we’re at, it’s like I’m matching with people and saying, ‘Listen, when this is over we can go for a drink, but I don’t want a pen pal.’”

She’s right. The other issue is, that if you do maintain the Zoom dates for months before you actually meet, that also kinda puts you into friend zone. You’ve been shooting the breeze for so long, that you know so much about each other but without the flirty physical connection that goes hand-in-hand with dating someone.

Nope.

The other thing both Abbie and I noticed was that your libido can dip and dive all over the place during lockdown. One day you’re so bored you’ve just consistently got sex on the brain, and then the next you’ve got lockdown brain fuzz and your libido literally vanishes. “Sex? Nope, I can barely remember it.”

Needless to say, thanks to vaccination rates happily on the rise, we will all be running amok once again hopefully soon. So ladies, jump online, buy that super cute ‘first date dress’ and let’s get ready to present our ‘best selves’ for a new and exciting world. Fellas, the drinks are on me!

Jana Hocking is a podcaster and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking

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