Part of the Kardashian machine’s enduring appeal is its ability to be simultaneously eerily familiar and distinctly unattainable. We’ve been captivated by the clan’s shenanigans for over 16 years now, in some measure because they often mirror our own experiences.
Watching the raw dynamics of a large, blended family, polished with the glossy sheen of wealth and status makes viewers feel better about their own familial circumstances. Earlier seasons of their show The Kardashians drew criticism for skipping over this sort of relatable family drama, so much so that Season 3 has seen a decided return to form.
The season has been anchored around a dispute between Kourtney and Kim, the first and second born respectively, over a partnership with Dolce & Gabbana. Kourtney accused Kim of stripping her of her “wedding vibes” by creative directing a show for the designers just months after her Portofino wedding, which was heavily influenced and hosted by the Italian duo.
Recent episodes saw Kourtney tearfully declaring that “no one has any boundaries” in her family, and accusing Kim of putting a “paycheck” before their sisterly bond. And while most of us may find the concept of warring over proximity to a couture fashion house rather outlandish, the core sentiment of Kourtney’s frustration resonated with older sisters everywhere.
When Kourtney said, “What else could you take from me, could I have anything that’s mine?” during a confessional, it transported me back to being 14, and learning that my younger sister wanted to take up horse riding after I had so carefully crafted my identity as a bona-fide “horse girl.” At the time it felt like an attack, an encroachment upon my territory and another reminder that my role as an older sister was to share, mentor, and prepare.
For me, those feelings of resentment lasted about as long as my sister’s riding career—circa two weeks—but my “oldest child complex” is something I’ve been acutely aware of since the age of four. Years of hearing that I had to “set a good example” for my younger siblings meant my identity became inextricably wrapped up in the responsibility of being a role model in a way that those who’ve never had the same burden won’t understand.
The trepidation and planning of oldest children allows their younger siblings to operate with a degree of carefree nonchalance that we can only dream of. They have the advantage of watching and learning as the firstborns navigate uncharted territory, waiting in the wings to trump their efforts, the un-level playing field often going unnoticed. Add to this the gender specific and competitive dynamics at play between sisters vying for parental approval, and you have a recipe for discontent.
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