Growing Up, Coming Out is a series of personal reflections from queer American designers, released every day this month.
I am from a very conservative, rural part of California in the San Joaquin Valley, and the town I grew up in was predominantly immigrants—very traditionally Mexican and very traditionally Catholic—and in the 70s, the community had a very hetero vibe. Slurs were prevalent throughout my daily life, so I didn’t really identify as being homosexual because it was so taboo. I just thought to myself, Alright—there’s something very different about me that cannot be revealed to anyone. I isolated myself from my culture and those around me, and in the long run, as much as there was pain associated with that, it really helped me to become who I am. I think if I had grown up in a more queer-accepting world like the one we have today—which is wonderful—I don’t know if my own queer identity would be such a part of my work.
After high school, I went on this very weird, exploratory phase in my life where I traveled a lot on my own. I went to Jamaica for a while, and to New York and Boston, and I ended up in New Orleans for a bit and fell in love for the first time, which kind of solidified my state of being. I was on a spiritual journey—I was speaking to priests and monks in a convent—which made me realize that this is who I am. And I loved it.
Courtesy of Willy Chavarria.
As I matured and began to get serious about my career, I harkened back to some of the civil rights ideas that were integrated into my upbringing. I’m biracial, and my parents went through the civil rights movement, and my family always had a very strong feeling that we had to fight for equality. I brought the queer aspect into that and began standing up for human rights about race, ethnicity, and sexuality. I think in today’s space, sexuality is political and personal—and it’s beautiful.
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