I identify as pansexual. I grew up very straight, but around the age of 40, my attraction to people changed: I stopped being attracted to someone through their gender, and became attracted to people through who they are and their energy. I never had an official coming-out announcement, but it’s different for everyone. I really feel for people who go through that torment, or live under threat. When my girlfriend [Stacey Griffith] came out, she was a gay teen in high school in the ’80s, and it was horrible—people would write “dyke” on her car in soap and pick fights with her.
When I look at pictures of myself from my 20s and 30s, I have a good laugh—I look like such a straight mom. Now I just feel more natural and comfortable with myself. Realizing that I’m pansexual definitely changed my design aesthetic and the way I approached collections. It feels old-fashioned to even define clothing by a certain gender—I want all genders to feel welcome in my clothes. Stacey and I launched a genderless athletic collection, Love & Sports, and when I’m casting I look for non-binary and trans models. It’s important; everyone has a place in fashion.
It’s an upsetting, worrisome time for human rights and gay rights. We’ve moved a few steps back, especially with Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill. There was so much progress made under the Obama administration, and I feel like a lot of it is rolling back. It’s time to speak out and stand up for our rights. We have to use our voices and our platforms—be yourself and be proud. It’s also really important to support gay youth. They’re most at risk, and the most vulnerable. Maybe I’m in a microcosm, because I’m in New York City, but with my children’s identities and friendships, they’re very comfortable in their own skin. There’s no sense of shame around queerness.
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