I Hit the Neighbors’ Dog With My Car. What Now?

Then go next door and tell them what happened. Do not embroider your account with excuses: The dog bolted into the street. You hit him. He was dead. They were away. Then apologize sincerely for the accident, your failure to speak up earlier and the pain you’ve caused them. I have no idea how they will respond, but I am certain that this is the right and kindest thing to do.

On Again, Off Again

In 1972, one year after graduating from high school, my best friend dumped me. He never said why. At our 10th reunion, he ignored me rudely. Last week, after 49 years of silence, he sent me an email asking if I was going to our 50th reunion. He wanted to catch up. I told him I wasn’t going, but I asked about his life, which he described in great detail. He wrote about his sexual exploits as if he were still 17. In return, I sent him a Playbill from a Jefferson Airplane concert we attended together 50 years ago. Weeks later, I still haven’t heard from him. This hits a nerve. Am I wrong?

PAUL

Of course you’re not wrong! I’m sorry your friend hurt your feelings 49 years ago, 39 years ago and last week. You see the pattern, though, right? If you think it may help, call him and tell him (calmly) how his behavior has made you feel.

I worry that this may be an unsatisfying encounter, though. (A 70-year-old who brags about his sex life, after 50 years of silence, doesn’t sound like great friendship material.) Instead, can you use this opportunity to reflect on, and appreciate, the people who have been there for you? That may be more useful.

Coffee?

I recently started a new job at a large company. We’re working remotely until Labor Day. Still, I’ve started coming into the office voluntarily. I love my new standing desk! Occasionally, I exchange emails with co-workers who say they’re in the office too. I’d like to ask if I can stop by and meet them in person. I’m fully vaccinated, and we’re required to wear masks when moving around the building. Still, I work in a senior role, and some colleagues may be reluctant to refuse me. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. What do you think?