‘I felt I needed it to function’: Wasim Akram confesses becoming cocaine addict post retirement

He had one of the greatest careers in cricket but the lack of thrill and excitement of the game after retirement pushed Wasim Akram towards drugs. Akram, widely regarded as one of the best fast bowlers to have played the game, has opened up on his cocaine addiction in his new autobiography — Sultan: A Memoir, excerpts from which were published by The Times. The autobiography also sheds light on several other controversial aspects of his career and personal life.

Akram, a legend of Pakistan cricket, has admitted to drug addiction for the first time through his book. He revealed it was at a party in England where he was first offered cocaine and snorted a line. From one line it soon became two and lines eventually became a gram or two.

The addiction started taking a toll on his body and personal life but the damage had already been done and Akram admitted it reached a point where it felt he needed to consume cocaine to function. It was only after the death of his former wife Huma that Akram decided to quit and change his life for the good.

Pakistan’s highest wicket-taker in international cricket with over 900 scalps to his name, Akram has bared it all about his addiction in his book which also touches upon the infamous match-fixing saga involving him. Opening up on his dependence on cocaine, Akram revealed how it started and affected his life.

“I liked to indulge myself; I liked to party. The culture of fame in south Asia is all consuming, seductive and corrupting. You can go to 10 parties a night. And it took its toll on me. My devices turned into vices,” Akram has written in his book, as per excerpts published by The Times.

“Worst of all, I developed a dependence on cocaine. It started innocuously enough when I was offered a line at a party in England; my use grew steadily more serious, to the point that I felt I needed it to function.”

“It made me volatile. It made me deceptive. Huma, I know, was often lonely in this time … she would talk of her desire to move to Karachi, to be nearer her parents and siblings. I was reluctant. Why? Partly because I liked going to Karachi on my own, pretending it was work when it was actually about partying, often for days at a time,” he adds.

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Akram revealed how his wife eventually found out about his cocaine addiction and knew he needed help. The former pacer agreed he needed to get out of it as his addiction was growing out of hand and it resulted in him ignoring his diabetes which impacted his body adversely.

“Huma eventually found me out, discovering a packet of cocaine in my wallet . . . ‘You need help.’ I agreed. It was getting out of hand. I couldn’t control it. One line would become two, two would become four; four would become a gram, a gram would become two. I could not sleep. I could not eat. I grew inattentive to my diabetes, which caused me headaches and mood swings. Like a lot of addicts, part of me welcomed discovery: the secrecy had been exhausting,” Akram writes.

Rehab didn’t help Wasim Akram

Akram was struggling to get control of his life with his drug addiction becoming unbearable. The Pakistan legend revealed he eventually agreed to go into rehab, however, the experience made him return to his old habits soon. 

The former Pakistan cricketer said the doctor who was treating him at the rehab was a complete ‘con man’ whose primary motive was to milk money out of the families of his patients. Akram said the treatment made him gain weight and he felt like a ‘zombie’, who wanted to get out of rehab soon.

“Movies conjure up an image of rehab as a caring, nurturing environment. This facility was brutal: a bare building with five cells, a meeting room and a kitchen. The doctor was a complete con man, who worked primarily on manipulating families rather than treating patients, on separating relatives from money rather than users from drugs.

“The treatment was essentially sedation, with fistfuls of tablets to take in the morning and evening, coupled with lectures and prayer. I felt lethargic. I gained weight. For an hour a day I wandered round our little exercise yard like a zombie… I screamed at my wife. ‘I’ve got to get out of here’,” Akram writes in his book.

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Akram spent seven weeks in rehab but the traumatic experience left him ‘scared’ as he found comfort in his addiction once again. The former Pakistan pacer started taking drugs again when he returned to England on commentary duties for the Champions Trophy in 2009, away from the watchful eyes of his wife.

“It was horrible. That scarred me for a bit . . . when people keep you against your will that pisses you off,” Akram writes describing his experience in rehab.

“Try as I might, part of me was still smouldering inside about the indignity of what I’d been put through. My pride was hurt, and the lure of my lifestyle remained. I briefly contemplated divorce. I settled for heading to the 2009 ICC Champions Trophy where, out from under Huma’s daily scrutiny, I started using again, he says about his return to old habits.

The turning point 

The turning point in Akram’s life came following the death of his former wife Huma. While she couldn’t stop him from drug abuse when she was still alive, her demise prompted the former Pakistan cricketer to rethink his way of life and change for the good.

Huma died after being diagnosed with a rare fungal infection called mucormycosis, which couldn’t be treated in time as doctors in Pakistan failed to recognise it. Akram is currently married to Shaniera Akram, whom he tied the knot with in 2013. Calling it her last selfless act, Akram admitted ever since Huma’s death he stopped taking drugs and never looked back.

“Huma’s last selfless, unconscious act was curing me of my drug problem. That way of life was over, and I have never looked back,” he writes.

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The highs and lows of sport

Akram has easily had one of the most decorated careers in the history of Pakistan cricket. He won the World Cup in 1992 and went on to captain the team before retiring as one of the most successful bowlers in world cricket.

However, he sorely missed the highs of the sport post-retirement which paved way for drug addiction that eventually made him sink to new lows. Akram revealed for him, cocaine was a substitute for the adrenaline rush that cricket gave him in his playing days.

“A substitute for the adrenaline rush of competition, which I sorely missed, or to take advantage of the opportunity, which I had never had,” Akram writes explaining how he ended up becoming an addict.

Seen as one of the cricketing heroes of the nation even at present, Akram feels a lot might change after the release of his book as a lot of his admissions will shock and disappoint some fans but believes he needed to put out his side of the story for everyone to hear.