How can you manage jealousy in a relationship? An expert weighs in

Everyone in a relationship may have felt a bit of jealousy at some point. While small amounts of jealousy can be perfectly natural, unmanaged, they can quickly become toxic and affect your relationship.

Thabo Mdluli spoke to relationship coach and author – Paula Quinsee, about how to deal with a jealous partner.

According to Quinsee, jealousy is a natural reactive behaviour that every human experiences when they feel their relationship is under threat.

We all want to be loved and accepted for who we are and when we feel a threat, whether its real or perceived, we can respond or react in a defensive way.

Paula Quinsee – relationship coach and author

Jealousy is essentially a fight or flight type of response to a perceived threat, but that behaviour can easily become destructive. When someone is starting to act in a way that is out of character or doing things behind their partner’s back, it is a sign that jealousy has become toxic.

Some examples of toxic jealous behaviours include going through a partner’s phone without permission, or becoming obsessed with knowing your partners’ whereabouts.

In order to manage jealousy, it is important to acknowledge the source and have an open and honest conversation about your feelings.

The only way to work through jealousy is, first of all to acknowledge what you’re feeling and potentially what the source is and what’s triggering it, and how do we find a way forward that we can work through this together.

Paula Quinsee – relationship coach and author

Quinsee suggests that if you are feeling jealous or possessive over your partner, it may be necessary to do some internal reflection and see if you are feeling unfulfilled in another part of your life.

She also stresses that while your partner can add to your happiness, they cannot be responsible for it, and if you are relying on them entirely for that, it may cause these jealous and possessive feelings, and if you do not manage these jealous feelings, it can create a toxic environment for everyone in the relationship.

To find out more, listen to the full audio below.

This article first appeared on 702 : How can you manage jealousy in a relationship? An expert weighs in