His story: We had a love marriage 4 years back and my wife always had this dream of being a mother so she was after my life to start a family just a month after our wedding. I was okay with it because I knew her dream well, and we are well settled too. However, it had been almost 4 years since we have been trying. We have even seen different doctors and they all said that she and I, both are weak in different ways to have kids. One day, I got to know from an acquaintance that my wife had been consulting a tantric for the past week or so to remedy our inability to have kids. She never spoke to me about it. Being an educated woman, I never realised how desperate she had become. I spoke to her about this but she became very defensive. I cannot take this, her pain and also the dark trap she is walking into. Please help. How do I knock some sense into her?
Her story: My husband and I have been together for 8 years, pre and post-marriage. He knew I always wanted to have 2 kids but our medical reports say otherwise. All doctors have said it won’t be possible unless I go for surrogacy. Even IVF is impossible for my body. Just a few backs back I got to know of a tantric who has done wonders for two couples. There was no sacrifice expected so after some time I gathered courage and went to him. He just asked me to bring my husband and my hair entwined together, a few dead insects and a fresh pair of both our underclothes. So what is wrong if I leave no stone unturned? My husband found out and our fights have turned into something very ugly. I am unable to accept that I cannot have kids. What is wrong if I try everything? Please help me make my husband understand my perspective.
Response by Vishal Bhardwaj, Founder, and Relationship Coach at Predictions For Success:
There is no one more powerful than destiny. Moreover, parenthood is a behaviour. If you wish to be a parent and the biological way of producing a baby seems infeasible, you simply can go and adopt a baby with the right legal procedures.
For Her- Motherhood is a wonderful feeling and we live in a society, where a woman is incomplete without having kids! But if you wish to be a mother, you can be someone who needs a mother. Also, do not believe in any superstition that promises you lead to motherhood. If as a couple you and your husband both have certain medical complications to conceiving, it could be solved by medical treatments only. Well, the outcome of the treatment could go either way. As a couple, you should be gracious to accept whatever comes your way. You mutually can decide to adopt a baby. But falling for the false and scary trap of superstition is not acceptable. Especially, if educated people like you keep doing this, what message the rest of society would have? Human is a beautiful creation of God. If you are thinking any tantric can help you in that matter, you are wrong! Physical intimacy is mandatory for conceiving a baby. If your partner and you both have complications, do not fall for any fraud procedures, go for medical experts!
For Him- Your wife seems to be desperate to have a baby! Which is natural on the part of a woman. Because that motherly feeling is different, heavenly, and wholesome! But considering the situation you both have it might delay or you end up in an empty hand. However, this is not the end, you have to make her understand. By going through any fraud and false way of having a baby, she would only end up disturbing her sanity and mental health. You have to be with her, you know she is fragile in this situation. Do not let her be alone in this journey. If God has something for you, understand that purpose. Do not lose heart and do not run behind false hope. Make her understand that all these tantric assistance has dire consequences. She needs to be more practical in life. Spirituality is a meaningful dimension to explore. But it does not ensure you motherhood or parenthood. It only can help you achieve the highest order of individuality, it can only help you enlighten your mediocrity. There is no such shortcut to having a baby out of spirituality. You perhaps using it for the wrong purpose.
Her story: My husband and I have been together for 8 years, pre and post-marriage. He knew I always wanted to have 2 kids but our medical reports say otherwise. All doctors have said it won’t be possible unless I go for surrogacy. Even IVF is impossible for my body. Just a few backs back I got to know of a tantric who has done wonders for two couples. There was no sacrifice expected so after some time I gathered courage and went to him. He just asked me to bring my husband and my hair entwined together, a few dead insects and a fresh pair of both our underclothes. So what is wrong if I leave no stone unturned? My husband found out and our fights have turned into something very ugly. I am unable to accept that I cannot have kids. What is wrong if I try everything? Please help me make my husband understand my perspective.
Response by Vishal Bhardwaj, Founder, and Relationship Coach at Predictions For Success:
There is no one more powerful than destiny. Moreover, parenthood is a behaviour. If you wish to be a parent and the biological way of producing a baby seems infeasible, you simply can go and adopt a baby with the right legal procedures.
For Her- Motherhood is a wonderful feeling and we live in a society, where a woman is incomplete without having kids! But if you wish to be a mother, you can be someone who needs a mother. Also, do not believe in any superstition that promises you lead to motherhood. If as a couple you and your husband both have certain medical complications to conceiving, it could be solved by medical treatments only. Well, the outcome of the treatment could go either way. As a couple, you should be gracious to accept whatever comes your way. You mutually can decide to adopt a baby. But falling for the false and scary trap of superstition is not acceptable. Especially, if educated people like you keep doing this, what message the rest of society would have? Human is a beautiful creation of God. If you are thinking any tantric can help you in that matter, you are wrong! Physical intimacy is mandatory for conceiving a baby. If your partner and you both have complications, do not fall for any fraud procedures, go for medical experts!
For Him- Your wife seems to be desperate to have a baby! Which is natural on the part of a woman. Because that motherly feeling is different, heavenly, and wholesome! But considering the situation you both have it might delay or you end up in an empty hand. However, this is not the end, you have to make her understand. By going through any fraud and false way of having a baby, she would only end up disturbing her sanity and mental health. You have to be with her, you know she is fragile in this situation. Do not let her be alone in this journey. If God has something for you, understand that purpose. Do not lose heart and do not run behind false hope. Make her understand that all these tantric assistance has dire consequences. She needs to be more practical in life. Spirituality is a meaningful dimension to explore. But it does not ensure you motherhood or parenthood. It only can help you achieve the highest order of individuality, it can only help you enlighten your mediocrity. There is no such shortcut to having a baby out of spirituality. You perhaps using it for the wrong purpose.
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