Don’t let your past dictate who you are today: Kainaz Jussawalla on ‘Who Wants to Marry Kai Juicewalla?’ – Times of India
In an interview with us, Kainaz Jussawalla tells us more about her new memoir, the idea and the work behind it. Excerpts:
1. Your book blurb reads ‘A romantic feminist (no, that is not an oxymoron)’. Can you elaborate on that?
Sure! The protagonist that is me, is actually seeking true love; like genuinely, madly, deeply, hopelessly. In the book in fact she admits her state of mind in these very lines; ‘I could not masquerade as being one of those alpha feminists who were fine even marrying themselves if they had to. Self-love was all very well said and practised but I needed love, from that one special person. I craved love, drank love, ate love, pooped love. I was in love with love. I was not afraid of new love. I was afraid of old pain.’
Unfortunately for her, whoever she dates is quite ‘the disaster.’ An eclectic portfolio of lovers who leave her heart broken. It doesn’t really work out for her like the way she would have liked it to, which translates into a committed monogamous partner where wedding bells can at least be heard in the distance. But whenever these so-called Mr Rights blindside her or ruin her romantic fantasies; she doesn’t take it lying down. There is some serious ass-kicking, ball-breaking (in the literal sense) and visible damage including a smashed bike, a broken nose, a shattered Tissot etc.
2. Apart from fun and entertainment, what learnings can readers expect from your book?
Plenty actually. The book is like a five-tier creamy cake, every layer is different and it depends on what you would like to bite on. The book is unabashedly visual and explicit at times, so readers can expect a massive emotional ride. There are a few readers who have written to me and confessed that they understood their sisters and wives better now, several have confided about their own issues with body shaming and how validated and safe they felt after reading the memoir. Surprisingly, most of the people who have communicated are boys and men. So not only the readers but I have learnt too; that men truly respect a woman who is brave, authentic and vulnerable.
What can also be taken away from the book is that no matter how many times you fall on your butt like I have, you get up again. You don’t let others win, by giving up. Most importantly you don’t let your past dictate who you are today. There is always hope for a brighter star in the sky. As SRK said (who is incidentally the fantasy boy in my book), “Picture abhi baaki hain.”
3. How did you come up with the book title- ‘Who Wants to Marry Kai Juicewalla’?
I had a few titles in mind, ‘Being Bawi’ was the first one. But then, I realised that Bawi, a term for a Parsi female, is not globally known. One day I was praying and asking God; (yes those God sessions) well it was more like I was having it out with him and I screamed something on the lines of: ‘So who wants to marry me? No one! Right? No one!? Nobody! Why god Why?’ Boom! I got my title. And it sounded super- duper quirky. And it still has a Parsi zing to it.
4. What prompted you to write this memoir?
Few factors. My friends and whoever heard my notorious travel tales, fun anecdotes from my college life and my relationship drama, would always say, “Just put this in a book.” But it actually manifested when I met a stranger in a bar (it’s in the book) who prompted me to write my life as a script for his OTT and film platform. That’s how it became a memoir eventually. I also had a serious motivation. My inner child would not let me rest until I addressed her needs. Her need for closure, retribution and freedom. I had little choice but to obey…
5. From mental health to body positivity, this book touches upon a number of important issues. How challenging was it to intertwine all of them into your story?
Quite! Living those nightmarish episodes again which I had suppressed in my subconscious, recalling those humiliating words, ‘humpty dumpty,’ ‘double chins’, ‘piggy piggy flat shoes’ etc. brought back the faces and memories associated with it.
When you are in your pre and early teens, you are so body conscious, you see your peers fitting into just about everything, and you are taken to the adult section to try out clothes. Every year my uniform size changed. I was the fat rat in the school play. Sounds funny now, but it can be quite scarring. The questioning eyes, the smirks, the subtle jibes, the sniggers and whispers behind your back when I opened my tiffin box to eat or simply stood on stage to sing; these were difficult at times to pen down.
6. One message you’re trying to give your readers through this book?
You are not a cattle, so stop walking in a herd. Don’t settle for the bare minimum because you are a slave to your biological clock or someone else’s opinion of ‘the perfect time’.
It’s better to be single than miserable. There is no perfect time, everyone needs to walk at their own pace and discover the mysteries of life in their own ‘right’ time. And yes, it’s never too late to fall in love again, to choose a different career path, to adopt a kid, to break a diet or to act upon a cherished dream… One life, make it count.
7. You worked as a flight attendant for decades, so what made you turn towards writing?
Some of my tales as a flight attendant are incorporated in this memoir; wild, saucy and candid. Just like me I suppose. So, my writing style and flying are quite interlinked in that sense.
Though flying truly opened my eyes and my mind to different cultures and lifestyles, my first love was always writing. I was a journalist before I started flying. I wrote my first book in Enid Blyton style, when I was eight years old. My imagination is legendary; ask my exes. I can weave stories out of an innocent line like– ‘Baby sorry I didn’t take your call as I was driving.’ In my mind I can hatch an entirely different scenario around that, the Jasoos in me never sleeps. Jokes apart, my grandmother, Granny B who is an integral part of my memoir, wanted me to be either of these two things- The Prime Minister or a bestselling author. I took the road less crowded…
(Byline: Devanshi Batra)
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