Doctor reveals key to good sex

QUESTION: Hi Dr Zac, my girlfriends and I have a WhatsApp chat group that has been VERY active during lockdown (obviously, what else is there to do!).

A conversation that keeps coming up is our lack of enjoyment these days when it comes to sex with our partners. Lockdown is less romantic than a blind date at a fish market!

From a doctor’s point of view – what can we do to get more out of sex, and to train our partners to be better lovers? Is there a medical treatment to cure bad sex? – Tracey, 32, NSW

ANSWER: Hi Tracey, Salt-N-Pepa put it better than any of us and many sex therapists could … “Don’t be coy, avoid, or make void the topic – Cuz that ain’t gonna stop it – Now we talk about sex on the radio and video shows – Many will know anything goes – Let’s talk about sex baby!”

I wish more of my patients came to me with questions about their sex life. Sexual intercourse and everything in between can certainly be greatly improved with a few Dr Zac tips.

I’ll share with you my thoughts, and a few facts on how healthy lovemaking really is. The most important thing to remember is don’t be too hard on yourself and your partner – have fun with it!

BE HONEST ABOUT YOUR TURN ONS

The first step to a healthy sexual relationship is to open yourself up and discuss your sexual preferences. Most couples will go decades before honestly letting their partner know what pleases them.

Kink shaming should be a thing of the past. You should sit your partner down and talk to them about what you like and ask what they like. It makes for a great exercise that usually ends up in practising what you preach.

KEGEL YOUR WAY TO A 10 X STRONGER ORGASM

For women, I almost always recommend they do Kegel exercises at least twice a week. Not only will this tighten up their abdominal muscles, it improves orgasm strength ten-fold. As well, in a non-related sex manner, Kegel exercises will strengthen your pelvic floor allowing for better bladder control. And again, if you can’t climax with your partner, tell them! Let them know what will help you orgasm.

SQUAT EXERCISES WILL IMPROVE PENETRATION

Women should also learn the proper technique to squat. Not only will this improve their leg strength, they can emulate the movement during sex to allow for deeper penetration and greater pleasure.

MEN – AB EXERCISES WILL IMPROVE YOUR THRUSTING

For men, they need to be doing abdominal exercises and squats. They need to have a strong lower body strength to make stronger and longer thrusts. All men should exercise to improve their sexual health. An increased cardiovascular ability leads to stronger erections.

POOR DIET = POOR SEX LIFE

Men who struggle to maintain an erection should steer clear of pornography, binge-drinking and smoking. They should be exercising, drinking plenty of water and eating healthy. Studies have shown that an unhealthy lifestyle and diet leads to an unhealthy sperm count and unfavourably smelling (and tasting) semen.

Now that we have a few exercises out of the way, let’s go through why you should be having sex.

SEXERCISE IS THE NEW EXERCISE TREND

It makes for a great workout! Sexercise has been rated in the top ten workouts anyone can do. Studies have shown that you burn five calories a minute during sex, and changing positions up increases this amount even more. Now you have and even greater incentive to be more adventurous in the bedroom!

SEXUALLY ACTIVE PEOPLE TEND TO GET SICK LESS THAN OTHERS

They have higher levels of antibodies that help to defend their body against germs, viruses and other issues. Researchers found that participants who had sex one to two times a week were less likely to get sick and had higher immunity than those having less sex.

There’s even been research showing people who have had more sexual partners in their life often have higher levels of immune resilience that fight common illnesses. That’s because their intimate contact with people has built up their natural immunity. It goes without saying you should always be mindful of STIs and wear protection during casual sex.

IT’S THE ULTIMATE DE-STRESSOR

Intimacy with your partner can help to soothe stress and anxiety by increasing the release of a chemical in your brain that revs up your pleasure and reward pathways. Along with this self-esteem and happiness, sex mixes up a great happy chemical cocktail in your brain. And we can all use a bit of that during these gloomy lockdowns.

SEX WILL GIVE YOU AN INSTANT FACIAL

And lastly, there’s nothing like glowing skin from sex. Sex can even help you look younger as it relaxes you, increases your circulation, and puts you in a better mood.

I hope you girls have some fun with your partners. And if it turns out to be too difficult, do not stray away from having a telehealth session with a sexual therapist. They guide you on your journey to better sex.

Dr Zac Turner has a Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery from the University of Sydney. He is both a medical practitioner and a co-owner of telehealth service, Concierge Doctors, and is also a qualified and experienced biomedical scientist.