Commentary: Why we mourn people we’ve never met
DEATH OF PUBLIC FIGURE REAWAKENS FEELINGS OF OWN LOSS
The feelings one has from the grief of a public figure is real. They are in essence like the grief we experience when a loved one dies. We will go through the various phases of grief from shock, to yearning, to despair and finally recovery.
The loss of loved ones will be more impactful given strong attachments we have with them. The feelings of grief will certainly be more intense and last a longer duration. They would have been an integral part of our lives and greater efforts would be needed to reorganise our lives to fill the void with them gone.
After learning of the death of the queen, I flipped through my mother’s stamp collection later that day. There were rows after rows of the queen’s stamps in various colours.
This brought back memories of my mother showing me her stamps when I was a child. The many stories she told us of a bygone era, when Singapore was still a colony, flooded back.
Perhaps, the queen’s death surfaced to my consciousness, that I too mourn the loss of my close bond with my mother as I grew up, she grew old, and we grew apart.
But surely, those who have passed on would rather we focus on what they had meant to us and the good memories they gave us. To truly commemorate them, we must not just mourn their deaths but instead celebrate their lives.
Dr Lim Boon Leng is a psychiatrist at the Gleneagles Medical Centre.
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