On Instagram, people tend to share the news in more subtle ways, without clear words or hashtags. Like by deleting photographs of their partners, or sharing videos to indicate that they’re moving house or even country. Some may call this a “soft” launch whereas the aforementioned, more explicit, examples are seen as “hard” launches.
“If you’re unsure about your break-up or feel anxious about how to move on, sharing it can be cathartic and encourage you to be ready to start a new chapter,” explains psychologist Jo Hemmings. “It feels a lot less personal than having to explain it in person, where questions may be asked and the hurt might feel more acute.”
For Van De Peer, who has over 4,000 followers on Twitter, the stakes of a break-up announcement are arguably lower than those of someone with a more significant following. For the latter, it’s a different matter altogether. Celebrities have traditionally announced break-ups with official statements released on their behalf by press representatives—remember Gwyneth and Chris’s “conscious uncoupling”?
But in recent years, social media influencers have started doing the same. Consider Niomi Smart (1.3 million followers on Instagram), who has shared numerous break-ups with her followers. “At the beginning of my previous relationship I was conscious of not sharing our private lives,” she says. “But of course as the years go on and things become increasingly serious, I relaxed and became comfortable sharing exciting snippets of our lives together, including a move to India shortly after our engagement in 2020.”
When Smart and her ex split, she took a break from social media. “Initially, I didn’t feel comfortable or ready to share what was going on,” she recalls. “But the bombardment of messages demanding I explain what was going on was a sad and anxious thing to navigate, when all I really had the capacity for was dealing with the break-up itself.” Smart eventually decided to address it in a video she posted on YouTube titled “Emotional Healing: My Experience and Advice.”
“It was the only thing I could do to move on online,” she explains. “In my video, I chose to focus on the feelings of heartbreak and the steps I was taking to heal, rather than speaking of the details.” By approaching it this way, Smart was able to put an end to speculation and turn her break-up into a positive learning experience for her followers. To date, the video has more than 366,000 views, with thousands of comments from viewers thanking Smart and identifying with her.
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