Adoption can, of course, be a beautiful and life-giving means of making a family whole, but to romanticize it or substitute it for actual reproductive choice is to whitewash over the lived experiences of birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees—transracial adoptees in particular—who have spoken out about the ways in which the system has harmed them. There is no “simple” adoption story, yet Barrett and her ilk seem determined to frame adoption not only as a moral corrective but as a means of reproductive freedom. We know, of course, that this is false logic, seemingly ripped straight from a discarded Handmaid’s Tale episode, yet Barrett’s own perceived authority as an adoptive parent has given some conservatives cover to imply that she is uniquely educated on the topic.
I can state definitively that adoption is not the easy, one-size-fits-all solution to unwanted pregnancy that Barrett seems to think it is, even if she’s been fortunate enough to claim that ease within the limited context of her own experience. To reduce the raw emotional experience of giving a child up for adoption as a so-called “solution” to abortion (as though abortion were a moral quandary to untangle, rather than a medical procedure) feels ignorant at best, and massively cruel at worst.
As a queer woman hoping to start a family in the not-so-distant future, I felt a particular sense of unease listening to Barrett frame adoption in this way. I’m only twenty-eight, and I don’t know yet whether I’ll try to conceive myself or not, but I’ve known ever since coming out that adoption could play a role in my eventual family-making. Put simply, though: my right to parent as a queer person should not be remotely connected to another person being forced to carry their pregnancy to term.
I want children desperately, and have since I was a child myself, but I don’t want my hypothetical future happiness to come at the expense of anyone else’s rights. I want to live—and someday parent—in a world where all pregnant people are empowered to make the choices that are right for themselves and their families. I just wish the nine people ruling on my rights in the highest court in the land wanted that for us, too.
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