I haven’t seen a sunset in almost a year. This is the thought that runs through my mind as I pack for my first solo trip since giving birth to my daughter in February 2021. The second, more daunting one is, I also haven’t missed a bedtime.
This is not just any trip. This is the trip that a new mother doesn’t dare to dream of—a four-day retreat at the newly reopened Rosewood Le Guanahani St. Barth to celebrate the launch of my friend Lola Rykiel’s pop-up boutique for her brand, Pompom Paris. (Lola also happens to be a new mother and, therefore, can share the simultaneous excitement and angst of leaving your baby for the very first time.) As I hand my own mother a stack of printed out baby schedules and stuff a massive Spectra breast pump into my carry-on, a wave of doubt washes over me. What if my daughter is not okay without me, or I without her? What if I’m no longer capable of feeling whole without this small being who has become so intrinsically connected to my identity, to the point where I hardly know where one ends and the other begins? What if the pump doesn’t work?
By the time my Tradewind flight descends on the island’s notoriously short landing strip, offering me a swift overview of its green pastures, scattered red rooftops, and fleets of yachts leisurely lounging in the surrounding waters, most of my worries have dissipated. 30 minutes later, in the lobby of the Rosewood Le Guanahani, over my welcome glass of rosé and a tiny gougère, all traces of mom guilt are officially gone. In their place is my long-lost friend, the euphoria that comes with having your senses awakened by a brand new place for the first time.
And what a place it is. Spread across 18 acres on a private peninsula overlooking the beaches of Maréchal Bay and Grand Cul-de-Sac Lagoon, Rosewood Le Guanahani is comprised of small houses painted in shades of yellow, lavender and turquoise. My little cottage, nestled amid abundant greenery and bougainvillea, is lavender, an homage to Provence and France. Inside is a spacious one-bedroom suite decorated in a chic neutral palette that comes alive with rattan accents, colorful touches and travel-inspired furniture, created for the hotel by designer Luis Pons. Outside on the deck, a private pool glistens against an ocean backdrop. It is indulgent, but does not intimidate me in the way extravagance sometimes does—in fact, I instantly feel at home. That night, after a long welcome dinner of BBQ octopus, fresh watermelon and burrata, and the most exquisite mahi mahi served family-style at the resort’s beachfront restaurant, Beach House St. Barth, I fall asleep to the soft whistle of Caribbean winds.
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